All we like sheep have gone astray; we have turned every one to his own way; and the Lord hath laid on Him the iniquity of us all. (Isaiah 53:6)

Certainly I have gone astray. Clearly I have sought my own way. But I have never perceived God's absence.

Many of the greatest saints have struggled with a dark night of the soul. God has, perhaps, perceived that this is beyond my strength.

So... I have stumbled, I have marched double-time the wrong way, I have fallen face-first in the mud, I have wandered lost in brambles.

But God has - so far - always been there. I can sometimes perceive a sigh, a quiet disappointment, a restrained anger, but God abides.

Despite this life-long journey together, I have chosen a stubborn separation. It is the silly pride so well captured by Austen or Dickens.

I once had a friend who would always walk ahead, even when he did not know the way. From time to time I would call out directions from behind.

My friend's silliness was the result of impatience, quickness, curiousity, and obliviousness. I would shake my head, but loved him no less for it.

You may listen to this major choral element at the conclusion of a longer excerpt from the Messiah performed by the Academy of St. Martin's in the Fields.